Snake and Jake’s Christmas Club Lounge

Dive Level: 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸 – Your Neighborhood Dive Bar
Norm Factor: 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸 – Everyone Knows Your Name
Smoking: No
Music: Juan’s iPhone

Gin & Tonic: $4.00 ($2.50 at Happy Hour)?
House Wine: $4.00?
Food: Nope

At this point we’ve been to 84 bars here in the New Orleans area. We’ve seen the full range of craft cocktail to hole-in-the-wall dives. This neighborhood bar, which ironically is just 6 blocks from my work (and, yes, 83 other bars before getting to this place… Juan gave me shit about that… but I’ll get into that shortly), is our favorite so far.

If you are looking for a great dive bar, it doesn’t get any better than this place. Instead of my verbose justification, I’m instead going to bullet point it out. I’d be here for hours writing this otherwise. We had one of those special nights where you wake up the next morning and think, “Damn, that was a fun night!”

So here is the abbreviated summary of what we experienced and why you too need to go:

  • Half a dozen blocks from the St Charles streetcar line, this bar looks more like an illuminated garage than a place of business.
  • Dark and only illuminated by red xmas lights.
  • Sat down and Juan (the bartender) explained that the seat was Peeve’s and we can sit there, but he’ll hop in our lap.
  • Shifted down one, and Peeve, his dog, hopped into his seat (he has two seats on the different ends of the bar… they are the ones with a plush backing so he can curl up in the chair) and greeted us warmly.
  • Awesome decorations and a tribute to Jake, a cat that is no longer with us, RIP.
  • Juan laughed at Laura for asking if he can make a Rusty Nail, “Haha! This is a dive bar… Drambuie?! Are you kidding? He’s lucky he’s getting tonic with that gin and not just gin and a straw!” She had a beer… after an equally fun exchange when asked what they had on tap. She got a bottle.
  • Juan chewed me out for this being our 84th bar when I work 6 blocks away. “You don’t open until 7pm and I leave work at 6pm, ” I justified. “You can’t find something to do for an hour in THIS town?!” Well played, sir.
  • When asked about white wine, he was happy to say two different whites and rose, much to our surprise. “But, keep in mind, this is dive bar wine.” The rose was actually quite good. He’s very modest.
  • Juan offered to do a round of free shots with us. The answer is always yes, of course.
  • Juan was telling a group of three how on his birthday an opossum fell through the ceiling tile onto him (the tile’s broken pieces are held together with tape)… and he won $50 on a scratcher that night. He decided to invent a drink, The Falling ‘Possum – Schlitz with a Jagermeister bomb.
  • The group of three ordered 6… 3 for them, 2 for us and 1 for Juan. It was better than it sounds.
  • We started talking, they do computer security and were in town from Baton Rouge for a conference. We had a great time spending the night hanging out with them and buying them a round.
  • Juan is an old school computer geek who owned one of the first 100 websites ever created.
  • Juan was playing tunes from his old iPod, cranking the volume like a DJ scratching records for a mix.
  • Blasted Adele’s Rolling in the Deep, we were all singing and tapping the bar.
  • Met lots of people, all very friendly.
  • Patio out back for chilling in the cool breeze, or smoking… stumpy logs for sitting.
  • Got into a conversation, with a guy from that group of three, about how in Korea they have DVD Bangs (“Bongs”), businesses where you rent a room with a couch to watch a movie. This is pretty much the only place young adults can go to have sex, since their houses are usually filled with family members. “Do you like movies?” Is their version of, “Do you want to come back to my place?”
  • Another bartender arrived around 11pm. He made free shift starting shots for a group of regulars… we got one as he miscounted and looked for someone to hand it to.
  • Laura had to get a Snake and Jake’s T-shirt, for $20, before we left.
  • Our tab at the end of the night was $30. I gave a $20 tip.

Be sure to read the Yelp reviews. They are spot on. Even the bad reviews illustrate why this place is wonderful.

Their hours are 7pm-7am, Happy Hour from 7pm-10pm… though, I still don’t quite understand how their prices actually work. They are tied to something dealing with quantum mechanics and Juan’s mood, I guess.

Warning, though, Juan’s attention to your needs is inversely proportional to his level of enjoying himself and the music he’s playing. But if you are in a hurry… then why the hell are you in a dive bar?!

LOVE THIS BAR. BEST DIVE BAR IN NOLA. PERIOD.